party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If I die, sorry about rent.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
