did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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