Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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