He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
