I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
