it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
