I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
