I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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