Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
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