I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
