i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
