My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
