So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
