I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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