I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
