you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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