I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
