did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
