Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
