I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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