Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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