I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
