I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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