Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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