I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
