so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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