I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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