You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
well you can't waste a boner
she smelled like a LAN party
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
