well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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