I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
