I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
