i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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