fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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