Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
