your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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