I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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