YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
