Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
