you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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