Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
