oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm at about main and main street
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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