I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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