I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
