Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
