she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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