HIV tests are more positive than that guy
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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