come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
