Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
