wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
that is very illegal...i love you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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