I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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